so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
