we're blogging at a bar
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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