$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
