All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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