It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
