well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
