is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
