I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
