Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
