I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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