I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
