You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize