I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
