winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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