life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
