He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
