Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
