Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
