im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
