wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
