he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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