Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
