Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
