I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize