Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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