Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found a bag of teeth...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
