She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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