I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
