i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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