It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
