I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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