you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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