do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
