Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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