i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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