you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
