the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
