Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
