You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
