Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize