doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize