U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
