my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need Xanax blowdarts
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
