Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
