these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
