sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
