dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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