Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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