Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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