I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
