when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
