i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
