I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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