i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
