Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
