We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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