I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
