Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
