Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
