I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
