last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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