she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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