hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
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Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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