Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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