when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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