he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
