you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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