He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
