Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
